Losing Control

One thing I desire is to know things, in fact, to know everything.  I want to know what is happening to me right now, and what will happen in the future.  I also want to control things...well, control everything.  I want my life and the whole world to go just the way I want it.

Functionally, I want to be God.

It's because of this that I constantly have to remember that I am not God, that only God is God, and that He has a better plan for my life than I could ever imagine, plan, know, or control.  He is in control; I'm not.

In a sense, I think wanting to control things is a common human tendency.  After all, popular culture tells us that the answers to all our problems lie within ourselves and our own "power"...in effect, popular culture tells us that our problems will go away when we take control of our lives.

Ultimately, though, taking control of my life like I think I want to won't bring me happiness.  In fact, it will draw me away from God and lead me to worship myself rather than Him.  I would never want to do that, and yet I'm very aware of my tendency to do it in practice.  I'm dependent on God's grace alone to fight the temptation to seek control.

Instead, I need to lose control.

Now, in normal life situations, losing control is viewed as a negative thing.  Why?  I think because, when we lose control of something, no one else is controlling it, either.  When you take your hands off the steering wheel of a car and take your foot off the brake, you'll probably go down the hill you're approaching at about 90 miles an hour and slam into a tree at the bottom.  Essentially, since you aren't controlling the car, no one is.

It's very different in life, though.  When we lose control of our lives, meaning that we lose the driving desire to control our lives ourselves, we don't have to leave them with someone in charge.  Really, you're not in control of your life to begin with.  God is the almighty, sovereign, all-knowing King who rules over everything and controls everything - including your life.  So, I guess what I mean by losing control isn't necessarily giving the right to control your life over to God (because he already has the right to control you and He does control you), but instead, surrendering all your desires to control your life over to God, and embracing His control.

This is something I need to do.  It's something I need to remind myself of.  It's something I need God's grace to accomplish.

And I know for a fact that surrendering my own desires to rule and embracing God's ultimate control over my life will lead to freedom and peace.  Because, if you think about it, thinking we're in control is a stressful thing, because we can't control our lives and we're constantly afraid of messing up.

But God never messes up.  He is holiness itself, and He does everything He pleases.

And what He pleases is good.

Let me leave you with two things, first, some of the lyrics to a song I've been enjoying recently, called "Let it Go" by Tenth Avenue North.  The chorus is particularly encouraging.

But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the ones who lose control
You say you will be everything I need
You said if I lose my life, it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go.

And the other thing I want to share with you is a Scripture verse that's one of my favorites:
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11

Usually when I think of that verse, I focus on the part about plans, and think about the fact that God has plans for my future.  But I've noticed lately that there's another part to the verse, too: God knows.  We can never know everything, but God does know.  He knows all.